Road Rager vs Granny
Abby is really a patient, understanding soul. But behind the wheel something happens. I turn into a furious, impatient maniac. Well, not really a maniac. I don’t drive crazy, but I do get unreasonably mad at people going too slowly or too fast or whatever they are doing to annoy me. I yell and curse (all with my windows up so nobody can hear.) “The gas pedal is the one on the right, granny!” I will yell. Or “You have a turn signal don’t you, Idiot?!” And stuff like that. I researched road rage (well, I got as far as Wikipedia) and I learned that it is an official mental disorder called “intermittent explosive disorder”. So now being a jerk is a disorder. I am surprised I have not yet seen commercials for a drug for this…”Do you suffer from IED?” (See my blog on acronyms.) Anyway, the truth is that Abby is not a jerk, but is an unfortunate victim of IED, so her screaming at other drivers cannot be helped.
But poor Abby does have really bad eyesight, and driving at night is a challenge. I tend to drive slowly and sometimes brake when I shouldn’t and sometimes use my brights when I shouldn’t. People pass me and it really appears that they may be yelling. Do you remember Pogo, that old comic strip character, who said “We have met the enemy and he is us?” Well, I have found the granny driver that I yell at by day, and she is me, by night! Who would have guessed that the mirror image of the furious road rager is the squinting old granny hunched over the steering wheel, inching along? “Get a move on, Granny, or get off the road!” Ooops, I mean “Pass me if you want to, Road Rager, and let me drive the way I want to.” Wow, I can give myself whiplash just by driving day into night….
Is Tolstoy Right About Families?
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This is how Anna Karenina begins. I have been reading Anna Karenina all year, [Have you ever taken a full year to read a book? I think I am absolutely disgraceful!], and I am still not finished, so I have yet to judge how Tolstoy will prove this to be true. However, this declaration strikes me as false. Since every family, and every person, is touched by happiness, sadness, worry, sickness, pride, satisfaction, anger, delight, and, in short, every human emotion, the extent of happiness, I think, is how we make peace with the negatives and are able to focus on the positives. Some have more trouble making this peace than others, due to illnesses - mental and physical - and extreme hardship, but nonetheless the extent that one can do that goes far to determine one’s level of happiness. I would say happy families put up with, with good nature, the foibles of their relatives and do not bear grudges, and are helpful to one another. Unhappy families are stuck in a negativity of the past. So maybe now that I am thinking out loud, I am beginning to believe that perhaps Tolstoy is right. Happy families all have short memories; unhappy families dwell on their particular “slings and arrows” of the past.
Words are Beautiful!
Loyal Readers: Abby has been kind and thoughtful as 2011 ended and 2012 began. Enough of that! It is cranky time again.
Words are Beautiful!
Why can’t we use them?! Abby does not like acronyms! Things seem to be getting worse and worse in this domain. You will see on TV that you cannot have a descriptive disease anymore. You must have something that is described by three frightening letters. Abby has AAI* syndrome. There is no help.
Would you believe….my kitchen trashcan is proudly marked in big letters: FPR! FPR? What the heck is that? A warning? Fear Produce in my Refrigerator? A call to political action? Face Proudly the Reactionaries? No. It means Finger Print Resistant. Well, there’s a vital product. I spend a lot of time putting my hands all over the lid of my trashcan, and now I can proudly proclaim myself so very FPR!**
*Annoyance At Idiocy
** Frequently Peckish and Ridiculing
Abby’s Random Thoughts as We Begin 2012
I think there is a force in the universe that wants us to be happy, at least some of the time. Why else would there be rainbows, fluffy clouds of all shapes, sweet-faced dogs, music that makes us dance, toddlers learning to walk, geraniums clambering all over, and sun-showers?
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Astronomers have recently discovered two gigantic black holes in far-away galaxies. Each black hole is 10 billion times the size of our sun. Other astronomers have discovered an earth-like planet circling another star, and this planet would appear to have a temperature of 72 degrees. In other news, it is estimated that the number of stars in the universe is greater than the number of grains of sand on all the beaches on Earth. Upon reading all this, do you feel as small and insignificant as an ant?
__________________
I know, I know, I have dissed ants. I understand that ants have a complex and highly evolved culture and I should be more respectful of them. Many different types of scientists have studied ants, from social biologists to computer scientists, and have gained important knowledge from these petite and industrious creatures. Abby vows, as we begin the new year, to be more careful to acknowledge the contributions of all beings.
Happy New Year, FOAs!
Abby Loves Maimonides!
8. Giving grudgingly.
7. Giving less than one could or should, but willingly.
6. Giving directly to the poor upon being asked.
5. Giving directly to the poor without being asked.
4. Giving when the recipient knows who you are, but you don’t know the identity of the recipient.
3. Giving when you know the recipient's identity, but the recipient is unaware who donated.
2. Giving when the donor and recipient are unknown to each other (through a third party).
1. Preventing people from becoming impoverished or lifting them out of poverty by providing a loan, or helping them establish a business, or find employment. This is similar to the ancient Chinese adage: give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Abby wishes everyone the very best 2012 – good health and great happiness!
Old Fogey Musings on Occupy
Abby has spent some time with the Occupy people.
I think the whole thing is fabulous. People say, “What do these kids want? It’s all over the board!” I say, “Hooray for the spirit of the young." They are passionate, caring, sincere, and very well organized. They are the hope for our democracy.
They want a more just and fair society. They know the income divide has grown enormously, and that the greed of the already-wealthy Wall Street crowd was a cause of our current deep financial woes. And yes, they support a broad array of causes from education parity to global warming, and that is because there is a broad array of problems! The sum is that they want a better life for the majority of the people. There’s a good cause if I ever heard one.
Not specific enough? Well, if the solution to these problems was easy to define and implement, maybe it would have been done already. What do the scoffers want? Do they want our American youth to be sitting passively in front of the TV laughing at nonsense? If I had to choose between a 20-something Occupier and a 20-something TV watcher as the future of the country, there would be no contest. Viva the Occupiers!
Who will join Abby on the (arm-chair) barricades?!
Abby’s Thanksgiving Weekend Blog
Maybe I Should Take Them Up on It and Pole Dance
I am wondering if they reproduce sexually or asexually like bacteria. I would guess the latter….like a dangerous brain-eating bacteria. I am talking about “great deals”. Once, in a moment of millennial generation envy, I bought a half-priced meal at a local restaurant. All went well, and I even ate there and used my coupon. Never in my wildest dreams, did I imagine what would happen next. My “great deal” emails went from one a day to two a day, from one company’s deals to three company’s deals, to deals from ten companies every hour, to deals stuffing my inbox every minute of every day! I am invited to pole dance, to drink margaritas ‘til the cows come home, to take a quick excursion to who-knows-where. If I saved all the money they offer me daily, I would surely end my days in debtors’ prison. Their gambit is to get me to spend money I had no intention of spending. My gambit is to delete before I read. I would unsubscribe but that would be a full day’s work.
Can someone tell me about an organic, environmentally friendly pesticide that will get rid of asexually multiplying deals?
Abby is a Know-Nothing; Can She Be an Art Critic Anyway?
At least that’s what know-nothing Abby thinks. Am I allowed to express my know-nothing opinion, or will some real art critic tell me to shut up? A little intimidated, I did some almighty Google research. I learned bits and pieces like: Kandinsky considered his colors to be like notes of music. The forms he used are called “biomorphic” when they aren’t geometric. He painted his “inner necessity”. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing….it seems I may have heard that a time or two. Anyway, is it our job as viewers to understand what the artist was trying to say, or to just to react to it emotionally and personally? Both, I’m sure. But as far as this painting is concerned, I do not know what Kandinsky is saying, but I do know that the painting makes me happy…and that’s a good thing. So sayeth Abby the Art Critic.